A follow-up to “Growing Old, Growing Wise” – Part II
To my son and my daughter,
In my last post, I wrote about aging wisely. About the years moving faster than we think. About the duty we owe to ourselves, to loved ones, and to humanity. About the fact that the world owes us nothing.
Today, I want to add another layer to that theme: what happens when the world says “no.”
Because it will.
Tiwa Savage
In 2006, she walked onto The X Factor stage. She made it to the Judges’ Houses — the final stage before the live shows. And then she was sent home. Cut from the “Over 25s” category. Not chosen.
Think about that. One of the biggest Afrobeats artists in the world — over 900 million Spotify streams, 3.3 million monthly listeners, international collaborations, a genuine global career — was once told she wasn’t good enough.
Look at that group of finalists now. Ben Mills toured theatres. Dionne Mitchell reinvented herself as an indie artist. Lyn Fairbanks still sings jazz on the UK circuit. Kerry McGregor sadly passed away in 2012. Others left music entirely — one with no releases at all, another with a single minor acting credit.
Nothing wrong with any of those paths. But Tiwa Savage is the only one who turned that rejection into a sustained, globally influential career.
Why? Because rejection didn’t break her. It clarified her.
Michael Olise
Released by Chelsea’s academy at 14. Let go by Manchester City. Let go by Arsenal. Three of the biggest clubs in England decided he wasn’t good enough.
He didn’t stop. He went to Reading, then Crystal Palace, then Bayern Munich — one of the biggest clubs in the world.
Three rejections. Not one of them was the end of his story.
The Link to Growing Old, Growing Wise
In Part I, I wrote about the glass of water slowly being sipped by time. Every year takes a portion.
I also wrote that duty to self means investing in your character. Duty to loved ones means honouring the sacrifices made for you. Duty to humanity means using your gifts for something bigger than yourself.
Rejection is where those duties are tested.
When you are told “no” — when a coach says you are not ready, when an exam result is not what you hoped, when a door closes — you have a choice.
You can let it define you.
Or you can let it refine you.
Duty to self means you do not give up on your own potential. You reflect. You adjust. You work.
Duty to loved ones means you do not let bitterness take root. You stay coachable. You stay humble. You keep showing up — for them, and for yourself.
Duty to humanity means you understand that your story is not just about you. Your bounce-back may be the thing that inspires someone else to keep going.
What Scripture Says
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11
“The righteous may fall seven times, but they rise again.” — Proverbs 24:16
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” — James 1:2-3
A Word to Each of You
To my daughter: You sat your 11+ exams. Whatever the result, it is a doorway, not a destination. You must keep aspiring to be better. Not because you failed. Because duty to self never ends.
To my son: You have had setbacks. Detentions. Feedback you did not want to hear. Being separated from “the elite maths classmate”. Coaches who told you that you are not ready. None of that is the end. It is information. Use it.
A Closing Word
Tiwa Savage was rejected at Judges’ Houses. Michael Olise was rejected three times as a boy.
Neither of them is defined by the “no” they heard. They are defined by what they did next.
So will you be.
Whatever rejection comes your way — an exam result, a coach’s decision, a detention, a door that closes — remember:
You are not finished. You are being refined.
The world owes you nothing. But you owe yourself a response.
Make it a good one.
With all my love,
Dad
