Faith, Growth and the Journey ahead
The countdown began last week, and tomorrow, my son steps back onto the pitch for his “third and final trial session” with the academy—a moment filled with hope, quiet prayer, and a father’s steady nerves. I want nothing more than for him to continue training beyond this final session and into the new season. But whatever the outcome, one truth stands firm: God’s will must prevail.
As part of our morning run today, I offered him simple advice: “Enjoy the moment. Show effort. Be brave—and outwork everyone else on the pitch.”
Because football, after all, is just one path in a much larger journey—the journey of raising a son who contributes net positively to the world. His success in the 11+ exams brought immense pride, and if he secures this academy spot, it will be a dream fulfilled—for him, and in many ways, for me too. And yes, we’ll celebrate it just as we did his 11+ milestone: with joy, with gratitude, and with full hearts.
The Cost of Commitment—or Dare I Say, Conviction
Let’s be honest—this journey has come with real costs. Lost earnings. Endless commutes. Constantly rearranged schedules. And yet, what I’ve gained in return has been even greater: more time together, more intentional conversations, and more opportunities to shape him—not just as a footballer, but as a man.
As I wrote in Legacy in Motion, every sacrifice—every long drive, every missed opportunity—is part of a larger mission. One that transcends football and speaks to legacy, character, and impact.
Doubling Down—With Wisdom
In Raising a Child Who Does Not Fit the Mould, I outlined four possible paths forward. Today, the direction feels clearer than ever. I’m ready to take the reins more fully—mentoring him directly, instilling structure and discipline, and leaving as little to chance as possible. But I’m also learning that this doesn’t mean going it alone.
This is where the Village Mentality matters—leaning on uncles, mentors, and elders who speak into his life from different angles. Recently, I had a conversation with my good friend and mentor Viktor—father of three. His first daughter just finished secondary school and now runs a YouTube channel dedicated to helping children and young adults understand themselves.
I shared with him the emotional and academic journey that led to switching my son from a co-ed to a single-sex school. Viktor was gentle but probing:
“How is he coping?”
And for a moment—I had no answer.
Should I say, “He’s doing fine”? That wouldn’t be honest. The truth is: he’s adjusting… and so am I.
When I finally admitted, “I’m struggling,” Viktor asked a deeper question:
“In your effort to mould him, have you forgotten to listen to him?”
That question hit hard.
Listening, Learning, Letting Go
Maybe I have forgotten to listen.
Maybe he does feel misunderstood.
But the beauty is—we’re still learning together.
Guided by one of his uncles, we’ve recently started listening to Eric Thomas’s motivational speeches daily. It’s not just for football—it’s for life. We’ve committed to this for 30 days, and I plan to share the full reflections after the journey ends. But already, it’s teaching us both about ownership—of effort, of mind-set, of personal growth.
Human Beings Before Human Doings
Viktor also offered a simple but powerful practice: Daddy Dates.
Instead of peppering him with instructions, I’m learning to ask real questions.
Not just “How was training?”
But: “What did you enjoy most today?”
“We are human beings before we are human doings.”
A timely reminder that my son’s character matters far more than his stats on the pitch.
We also discussed the value of space—brief time away from home to grow in independence. I had planned two weeks with his aunty in Scotland, but Viktor wisely suggested starting small—a long weekend. The goal isn’t just distance, but perspective. A chance for him to experience boundaries beyond mine, a few gentle corrections from someone other than me and the mum, and maybe, just maybe, a new appreciation for home. As I explored in Those Who Live in Glass Houses, sometimes growth comes through the gentle correction of those closest to us.
The Bigger Picture
This trial, like everything else, is about more than football. It’s about:
- Resilience – Bouncing back after two rejections
- Self-Belief – Trusting in his ability to grow
- Trust – Knowing I’ll be there, win or lose
If you read Third Time Lucky: Preparation for the Third Trial, you’ll know the weight this moment carries. But whether he makes the squad or not, I’m reminded that the true victory is not the contract—it’s the character. It is the man he’s becoming.
So here’s to the next chapter. May it be led by faith, seasoned with patience, and full of courage to let his light shine, wherever his path leads.
Pray with me.
P.S.
To every parent navigating dreams, disappointment, and the beautifully messy work of raising a child who doesn’t quite fit the mould—keep going.
Our job isn’t to script their lives perfectly.
It’s to walk with them as they find their way
