Self-Awareness. Professionalism. Trust. Tolerance.
Starboy – and parents walking this journey with us,
Every now and then, life sends you a message through someone else’s voice. Someone who has walked a path you are only beginning to tread. Someone who can say things that a parent cannot quite say in the same way.
Your uncle has written you a letter.
He titled it: “Letter to my 13-year-old self.“
I want you to read it carefully. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Because what he shares is not abstract advice. It is lived experience. It is the kind of wisdom that only comes from years of failure, persistence, heartbreak, and triumph.
Your uncle is someone I respect deeply. He has built a life through discipline, hard work, and an unshakable belief that he could become more than his circumstances suggested. He lost his mother at 16. He played professional football. He studied in America. He invested in properties. He is a man of faith, of resilience, of principle.
And he wrote this for you.
As you turn 13, this letter is a gift. A map of sorts. Not a map of where to go, but of how to travel. Of what to carry. Of what to leave behind.
To the parents following this journey: I share this letter because I believe it speaks to something universal. Our children need more than our words. They need examples. They need uncles, aunties, mentors – people who have been where they are and can show them that the path forward is possible, even when it is hard.
If you have someone in your life who can write a letter like this to your child, encourage them to do so. These words land differently when they come from someone who is not Mum or Dad.
And to my son: your uncle has taken the time to sit down and speak to you across the years. To tell you what he wishes someone had told him. That is not something to skim. It is something to sit with.
Read it once. Read it twice. Read it again when things feel hard.
Because his words are not just about him. They are about the young man he believes you can become.
Here is Uncle Smart’s letter to you. Please read it carefully, and take a moment to reflect on what it means for your own journey.
Letter to My 13-Year-Old Self
From Uncle Smart
Hi Smart – I’m writing you this letter to express a few things to you. Life typically gives you anything you want out of it however please know you’ve got to be ready to believe it’s possible and also ready to pay the price.
When I was 13 I didn’t know what was possible, I didn’t know I would end up losing my mum at age 16 or end up playing professional football, or studying in America, or investing in properties. What I did want was just to play professional football thinking once I did that all will be well. If I knew I would lose my mum I would’ve showed more appreciation towards her when she was alive!
The passion for football led me to America and help me learn the importance of hard work, discipline, togetherness, mental toughness and consistency. The same discipline is helping me through life on a day to day basis. Growing up, I was never the most talented or the smartest among my friends however I had the most work ethic and desire to prove I can be the best I can be. That was all I had on myself and till this day it is what keeps me going.
As you grow up, please understand nobody owes you anything and you’ll need to earn every bit of success you get simply by being the best you can be and by being likeable and making your own luck.
Life can be very very unfair and can be very cruel so you’ll need to be ready for every disappointments that’s coming your way.
You’ll be rejected more times than doors will be open but you’ll need to have the mentally to keep going with a smile on yourself and believing it will all work out. You’ll need to act as if you’re already where you want to go or the door will stay closed.
Now looking back.. many years on.. God has played a big factor in everything I’ve done, but he can’t move without you moving and doing the right things!
Life has a way of giving you what you deserve. If you take short cut, you’ll definitely get cut short. As I write this.. I reflect back on the dreams and goals I’ve had and simply telling you it’s very very possible but you’ve got to be ready to pay the price for where you want to go or who you want to be.
I now try to live by these principles..
- S. Self discipline
- M. Morally driven
- A. Ambitious
- R. Resilience
- T. Teachable
These are the things that will help you open many days your talent alone won’t open.
You’ll be alright just remember .. you’ve got to be prepared to pay the price.
Closing Reflection
Son, I want you to notice something about this letter.
Your uncle does not promise you an easy path. He promises you a possible one. He does not tell you that life will be fair. He tells you that you can survive it and thrive anyway. He does not say talent is useless. He says talent alone is not enough.
He lost his mother at 16. He could have crumbled. He could have given up. Instead, he leaned into discipline. He leaned into faith. He leaned into the belief that he could build something from nothing.
You have more than nothing. You have a stable home. You have parents who are intentional. You have opportunities he never had at your age. And you have an uncle who took the time to write you a letter like this.
What are you going to do with what you have been given?
The 14-point plan is still in place. The standards have not changed. But I hope this letter reminds you that the discipline we are asking of you is not punishment. It is preparation.
Your uncle paid the price. And look at where he is now.
Now it is your turn.
Mind the gap, son. And remember – you’ve got to be prepared to pay the price.
With love, and with gratitude for the men in your life who show up for you,
Dad
