Aristotle, Virtue & Character
Starboy,
Last time, I introduced you to Stoicism—the idea that you must control what you can and let go of what you can’t. It’s sad you had another detention this week and although you believe, it was unfair. I would remind you that these detentions are accumulations of low-level misdemeanour. So the lesson of controlling what you can still stands. But there’s another voice we need to hear: Aristotle. No. Not the one in your class but I guess the inspiration behind the name choice.
Aristotle believed that the good life isn’t built in a single day or a single decision. It’s built by habits. This morning, you had woken up at 4.45am, asking us to go out training. I was well aware of when you went to bed. You had gone to bed late and I felt that your quest for training this morning was down to the constructive criticism you may have received from your uncle-Smart.
He has observed you closely, from the aftermath of your rugby game to your football practice and I can tell you – He was not impressed by your attitude on both occasions. So much so, he concluded that your primary focus as far as football, rugby or any sports is concerned is in his words “to be a good teammate’ and enjoy the game. He highlighted that the best player on the pitch, whilst he watched you train at football was a teammate that never said a word. Ironically. It is the same teammate that was recently called up to the academy set up which we discussed last week. Uncle Smart also remarked that “there is a sense of entitlement”- The idea that the “world owe it to you”. Interestingly, the point he was making was that nothing is a given. It’s not an automatic right that you have to play football or that you have to be a professional footballer. He cited his experience in the pro-game and warned you that unless you step up and make some immediate changes particularly about your attitude, everything else counts for nothing.
Interestingly, these are the issues I have raised with you in the past and today, it is fitting that I am introducing you to Aristotle. He argued that virtue—qualities like courage, discipline, honesty, and perseverance—is not something you are simply born with. Virtue is something you practice, over and over, until it becomes who you are.
He put it like this:
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
That’s powerful. Think about it. You don’t become great because you played one good match, or studied hard for one test, or woke up early one week. You become great because you do those things consistently—until they are part of you. And this is the point I was trying to make this morning.
Look at Dembélé. Look at Yamal. Look at Kobe. None of them reached their level because of a single great performance. They became who they are because of a thousand small choices—arriving early to training, staying late, studying the game, refusing distractions. Their greatness is not luck. It is habit.
Now let’s talk about you. This week, I saw flashes of progress. You took more initiative on your assignments ( though we are still doing these assignments in the very last minutes). You showed responsibility in some areas. But then I also saw the old patterns—lateness, unfinished work, waiting to be reminded, combing your hair at a time when you know your sister needs the bathroom. Those are habits too. The danger is this: if you repeat them long enough, they become part of you. And that’s the gap we must mind right now. Interestingly, your uncle reminded me today that, a school detention in the real world is the equivalence of going to prison. Common Stayboy, you are better than this!
That said, the Judeo-Christian worldview agrees with Aristotle, but goes deeper. Scripture says, “Train yourself to be godly” (1 Timothy 4:7). Just as an athlete builds muscle by repetition, your soul builds character by repetition. Pray daily. Study diligently. Serve faithfully. These small habits shape your character, and your character shapes your destiny.
So here’s the hard truth, son: you are becoming the sum of your habits. Every time you hit snooze instead of rising early, every time you leave work to the last minute, every time you cut corners, you are training yourself into a habit. And the reverse is true: every time you take initiative, finish strong, arrive early, or choose focus—you are training excellence.
This is why I and your mum push you. Not because I enjoy nagging, but because I know the man you are becoming. And I don’t want you to settle for “almost.” I want you to step into greatness.
This week, your goal is clear: build the right habits. Don’t just complete the assignment—do it early. Don’t just show up for training—arrive before time. Don’t just get by—set the standard. Remember: habits repeated become character, and character shapes your future.
Mind the gap. Build the habits. Shape the man you want to be.
With love and belief in you,
Dad
